Transparency and perspective
I don’t even know where to begin to describe this journey. I started the 80 Day Obsession full of excitement and anticipation. THIS IS IT!
This is going to be where Change happens for me! I set a goal of loosing 25 pounds.
Yeah, so that didn’t happen! I actually gained 1/2 pound. I continued to encourage others when they were frustrated with the scale not moving while secretly wanting to throw mine off the deck right square in the middle of the back yard. I WANTED those numbers not to matter…but they still did. I compared myself with others. I started to see lots of inches coming off and then I started to panic. My skin is sagging and bagging. I struggled with seeing body parts change. My pants that were loose were getting tight and sliding down, I could not keep them up and I was getting frustrated. Praise the Lord going through this day to day, Autumn and the cast seemed to be in the same spots often. My perspective…this program is working for everyone but me. Now my pants don’t fit and I don’t understand.
Autumn’s perspective…my pants won’t stay up…BOOTY GAINS!
(That was the week I added booty measurements to my list to track!)
Lies I told myself:
Lie: Some days, I had excuses, I cannot do that move, I am just too heavy and my body won’t go.
Truth: that move was HARD AH and I did not want to do it. It challenged me and I hated it.
Lie: I cannot do it. I can NOT do triceps pushups.
Truth…I don’t like them but I can do them modified. I can continue to make progress, I will do tricep pushups on my toes in the next round.
Lie: I cannot post that, so and so won’t like it. I can’t post my journey too much, people don’t want to see it. I can’t show that, someone will be offended.
Truth: There is an unfollow button that I use often. People have a choice to see what I post, the truth…I don’t want to see it. What IF someone sees the truth.
As I am seeing all these transformation pictures coming out, I am so proud of so many of these people I was in a group with. These aren’t airbrushed and altered, they are a result of hard work. That said, I am also seeing some pictures that aren’t maybe 100% transparent.
I have a not so secret secret…..
I have a c-section hangover. I hate it.
I LOVE my babies that cake out if there. But I Hate that Hangover.
It’s a reminder of not taking care of myself, thinking I was eating for two.
I hate the bulge under the pants and I just want it gone. Yesterday. I have seen other people’s pictures and been like, how awesome, they lost soooo much weight but I don’t want my skin to sag like that.
My purpose is to encourage others. In order for me to do that in a way that’s honest and transparent. I don’t weigh almost 300 pounds anymore but there are days that I still see that person. There are days I look in the mirror and don’t see any change.
Those are the days I have to give myself a pep talk. This is a journey. It took me a lot of years to get in the condition I was in and it’s going to take hard work to get to where I want to be. As I reflect on this last 80 days, I’m actually, HONESTLY thankful I didn’t loose pounds this round. I have learned sooo much in the process. I’ve identified behaviors that got me in the position to NEED CHANGE. I have learned that while my number doesn’t need to be where it is, IT IS another what defines me.
I’ve also learned, I want to be more transparent. Even if it’s ugly. Even if it’s hard. Even if it stretches me. Because That is where the change will happen. In the Hard.
Make sure you aren’t comparing yourself to anyone else’s journey. Make sure when you see thousands of before and afters that you remember those afters are usually the best
takes. Don’t measure your results against those afters!